I feel icky, dirty, yuck. I haaaaaaaate working reuse, blood clots and sterilants do not thrill me. *sigh* I have adopted a new patient, actually two, under my wing. Both are new patients, men, one is older and one is in his 40's I think. I'm really attached to the 40-something year old, but I adore the older one too. He's very sweet. I make it my goal to assure the procedure is as comfortable as possible. But the younger one breaks my heart. He's pretty damned sick, a divorcee, lives alone with his cats. Unbeknownst to him, he completely destroys my desensitized, burly-girl exterior. He just absolutely kills me! All of the ultrasensitivity I have worked for years to repress is stirred up enough to make me miserable for him. It's so damned sad...poor thing, I just want to take care of him! ACK! What's wrong with me? Egads, how unappealing.