Hold Music and Other Such Atrocities

Why do businesses choose the hold music they do? Some places just pick a radio station and use it. Assuming it's not a hellacious station this can be a good thing. At least there's variety. I used to work for a hospital that played classical. It was interesting because it was never anything recognizable (at least to me). It was always random bits of symphonies long ago forgotten by everyone but the hold music people. That said, it was lovely. Classical music is always a good choice, hold music or otherwise. It's timeless, mellow (for the most part), and terribly civilized. Can't go wrong.

It seems to me that there must be two trains of thought in the approach to hold music. There are those that seek to entertain and those that seek to pacify until whatever you're holding for sees fit to appear.

In the entertainment category we find the aforementioned radio station users, the evil and much feared muzak people, and in my book worst of all, those terribly vexing ads for whatever it is the business feels you must know. And yes, I am in fact aware that technically this is not music. It is, however, usually crammed between bad pieces of music/muzak, and meant to pass the time until some jerk takes up the other end of the line. Therefore, in the State of Julie, it is allowable in this context.

In the pacifying category we find the lovely classical people, very nice. We also find the world music people. How did this happen? Are other ethicities more likely to have relaxing music than we are? Why? My example de jour is Kaiser. I rang Kaiser shortly after 7 this morning to get an appointment for the headache/now migraine I've had the better part of the week. Stupid me, I'm assuming that the majority of the population is sleeping, having a leisurely breakfast, planning their weekend, I don't know. The point is I assumed they wouldn't be waiting ahead of me to talk to Kaiser. I was unfortunately mistaken. At 7 in the morning I had a 5 minute wait. What the hell is the matter with these people? Don't they value their weekends? Right, anyway....so as I wait with the countless other unwell I notice that they're playing this weird Spanish guitar thing. It was just...dumb. But you can tell that they're looking to keep people mellow so they don't scream at the RN's.

Which makes me wonder...do the pacifying music people do it for the benefit of the poor slobs on hold? Or is it for the staff having to take the slobs' calls? Whatever. I still prefer it to the entertainment people. They're fighting a long lost battle. They're like those icky, uncivilized people driving 'round with Confederate flags on their trucks. They just can't give it up. But that's another blog.

current music: Chopin's Funeral March