I had an icky early evening last night. I hung out with the reason for my vague blogs, and it was unfortunately (and fortunately) enlightening. Don't ask me, I don't want to talk about it. Suffice to say I did something I swore to myself and everyone else I'd never do, I learned about myself, and I think I figured out the person. Sorta.

Moving on...

So after my disappointing early evening I went out with Jason. It was fabulous, we had a lovely time as always. We talked about our situations, tried as only we can to figure them out (to no real avail), and just did our normal thing. During the course of the evening he came out with the most exquisite quote, my new favorite. He said:

"People say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. No it doesn't, it just fucks you up more!"

You know that's right. When you're younger and you get yourself through horrible things you congratulate yourself on your strength. As you get older though you begin to see that you get yourself through said horrible things only to move on to the next horror. It isn't nearly as entertaining. *sigh*

When I split up with K, all I wanted to do was move away from everything and everyone I knew. This desire hasn't really disappeared, it's sort of simmered beneath the surface of feasibility. I always have a lease, and I'm contracted to my company for the next year now. Blah, blah, blah. But the experiences leading up to and including last night reminded me just how much I want to get away.

Craig has a house in Missouri that he's willing to split with me. I know what you're all thinking. Julie in the mid-west? EGADS! But it's in the college capitol of Missouri, and he says it's a bastion of civilization, very similar to northern California. Perhaps nursing school in Missouri would be okay. And my rent would be like $2 a year compared to this place. And I'd still have Craig, part time. He's a travelling nurse, so he's probably going to be gone most of the time. Maybe not, I don't know. Either way it'd be nice. At any rate, it wouldn't be until maybe the end of the year, nothing to get too excited about right now I don't think. I'm going to go check out the school there right now...