I hate everything

I had a stupid day. Actually, I believe hellish is more the word I'm thinking of. This absolutely revolting, obnoxious patient yelled at me, threatened to punch me, and then went and complained to my boss threatening to file a grievance with our corporate offices. Why, you ask? Because I followed a procedure he's been warned of like 17,000,ooo times by myself and others. Fabulous. It was stressful as hell. It gave me a headache, of course, so I was just trying to stay afloat the rest of the night, and I did my best damnit. At the end of the night, to top off such a smashing day I was told that everyone had decided I had Jaynightis. Well that's just fucking lovely, really. Jaynightis is a term we came up with for someone who is lazy, incompetent, and just an all around pain in the ass to work with. It's named after the original. Look, I like to fuck with people as much or more than the average person. Probably more. But you know what?! I still have compassion. I can give people hell all day, but as soon as I see that they're genuinely sad, stressed out, or otherwise distraught I stop tormenting them. In fact, egads, I will sometimes even try to help. Crazy, I know. I do this because I know what it's like to hurt, to suffer, to stress. I know what it's like to feel alone and miserable. And so I try to help other people feel like they aren't completely alone sometimes, and I certainly try to not torture them when they feel like hell. Well evidently others aren't into that. Evidently I am alone. Haha!

One of the patients that witnessed the aforementioned fiasco is my friend Jorge. I love Jorge, I really do. At first I laughed it off. Cruel, perhaps, but it was funny to see a stupid old man really flip out, especially when it was his fault, it had been coming to him for a long time. Jorge's like "are you okay?" And I was like "heck yeah I'm okay, I'm great!" Later though when I found out how screwed I might be I wasn't so okay. It was my turn to be upset. Sweet Jorge kept saying "ohhh, you poor girl..." Yup. And then he asked what I was going to do...

-"Ohhh God, I'm going to off myself" I said sadly...

-worried look from Jorge....

-"nooo, I'm joking. I'll just go home and cry"

-"oh, okay. Well I'll go there and hold you"

Has someone ever said exactly what you wanted to hear from them, but you knew it couldn't be? I mean almost like they knew exactly what you needed and wanted in the depths of your heart, and they offered it? Well, it woulda been nice. But ultimately here I am and it sucks. I still love him though for making more of an effort in a few moments to care for me than anyone but my family (that includes Rachel) does in a year. I wish things were different there...