Full Tank of Gas, Invisible Woman

How many of us feel invisible on a daily or almost daily basis? It's a lonely state. Feeling as though we've been seen by someone can be dangerous.

Full tank of gas, it was payday yesterday. I couldn't afford it but I got the front windows tinted on Victor, the Civic. While it was being tinted my mom picked me up and we went to breakfast, and then after it was done we drove it out for the inaugural drive to the beach. No car is really truly mine until it has been to the beach. I'm an ocean girl, what can I say? I need to go to the grocery store, but I haven't been able to really grocery shop in so long I'm not sure what I need. Weird. Maybe everything. Payday is the best and worst feeling in the world for me at this stage in my life. It means I can fill up the gas tank all the way and buy at least something of what I need. It also means that the next time I can count on that feeling is two long weeks away.

I have to go to Ukiah today and pick up a small check from FMC, yeehaw! I really don't much care for it up there, it's disorganized, Ukiah-ish, and has that icky, 1984-factory FMC feeling. Say what you like about Satellite, but I feel like they actually do give a damn. They aren't perfect, but I've worked for enough healthcare corporations to know they're different. Anywho, I worked up at FMC a few days and was so not into it. I've been kinda thinking it'd be swell to weasle out of said job, but was unsure how. After the "guess what? you're working in 12 hours" routine, I've been way more inclined in the direction of said weasling. The problem lies in dialysis, of course. Most problems do though, don't they? I think we can all agree on that. Or at least two of you, anyway. *wink* The problem is that the dialysis community is a small, close knit one. Everyone either knows or knows of everyone. Period. It's creepy. So if I tell FMC Ukiah to fuck off I'll likely wind up burning more bridges than I care to think of. I don't want to be in dialysis forever but burning bridges can never be a good thing. So after being reassured I "would always have a home with Satellite" by my manager (who is a whole other blog) and being counseled on how to weasle as gracefully as possible by my friends, I called FMC. Evidently the manager there didn't want to burn this bridge yet, either. It was anticlimactic as hell and I wound up leaving the option open for me to go work there when I want, and we're all as happy as possible. Well, I am. I don't think the hag I spoke with was, but whatever. Can't win 'em all.

I'm starvin' Marvin. I guess now would be the time to evaluate what I need from the store, no? That kinda depends though, I might be going camping tonight and that'll change everything. If so, it'd be the PipSqueak Pomo Fest 2005. Yayyyy! Pomo Fest 2005!

I have to say, little pequeno gato Fozzie is fabulously adorable. He really is. When he was a tiny kitten he had kinda fuzzy fur, but as he gets a little bigger his fur is getting sleek, shiny, and soft. And he has an oh so cute face. Yep, I'll keep him.


So here's what my weekend is shaping up to...I'm waiting to hear if Rachel wants to camp, then up to Uki to get a check, run a couple errands, try to avoid the yarn shop, then home before probably going to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with el Craig. Then I'll either stay home, do laundry, clean, and actually breathe a little or I'll hurriedly pack up Victor and race down to Pomo in search of a campsite and set it up while Rachel does what she needs to do and shows up when she can. Ohh I sooooo want Pomo Fest! ACK! Tomorrow I have tickets to The Man Who Came to Dinner, but I'm not sure who I want to go with. Hmmm. It's all fabulous and fun and wonderful. But you know? I need a day to stay home and do nothing. Maybe tuesday. A bientot!