toilet paper healthcare and (some) other stuff on my mind

So on Saturday I arrived at work to find that I was only allowed one box of gauze for my 8 patients. Period. There were 4, count 'em, 4 boxes of gauze left. In the UNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hellooooo!!!!!!!!! Hemodialysis!! HEMO!!! Hemo means blood, for God's sake! Devorah said it best, it's like runnning a gas station without gas. It's been known for a while that the tech manager is not really concerned with the whole "stocking" thing. But gauze? Wow. Marisol and I were in one of those moods...punchy as hell, I think it'd be called. We've been that a lot lately, come to think of it. We decided that since we were essentially out of gauze we'd have to use toilet paper. *snickers* Imagine, here you are with needles hanging from your arm and it's time for the tech to pull 'em. Instead of walking up with sterile gauze in her hot little purple glove clad hand, she busts out with a roll of toilet paper and tears off a wad. DAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! Sooo fucking wrong. Ohhhh, so funny. So naturally, our next move was to get a roll of toilet paper out of the supply closet and I wrote "For use when out of gauze. Please conserve." and stuck it on top of one of the comps at the nurses' station in the middle of the patient care floor. Hahaha, it was still there yesterday. *chortle* We've been telling people that supplies of toilet paper are limited and starting today we're all going to have to bring our own. *teehee!*

In our time together Marisol and I have done some pretty funny stuff, but this is one of the funnier things. It's right up there with the time we took a porcelain doll that had been brought in by a psycho coworker (the one that steals life stories) to raffle off. Don't ask, it won't make any more sense with an explanation. We'd been looking at this doll for weeks, and it was creepy as hell! We were all concerned that it'd come to life late one night when we were finishing up and the morning shift would be overwhelmed with our lifeless, bloodied corpses upon entering. So I decide it'd be funny to doctor the doll up a bit. We took a plastic knife and re-did it to look like a bloody butcher knife, fastening it to her hand. It was complete with drops of blood dripping from it and everything. It was fabulous. We raised her knife-arm menacingly and turned her head at an even creepier than usual angle and put her back where she'd been. I have pics somewhere... Our boss had trouble getting mad at us because she thought it was funny, too. *sigh* Awww, those were the good old days.

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I have a few patients that say my name when they address me. It's just nice. One guy barely speaks any english at all but he still manages to say "thank you, Julie, or "goodnight, Julie." It's just sweet. It makes me feel like I'm not some random tech. Of course how could I be. I'm one of the loudest, and most nights the most giggly. And you know? Despite what wretched, vitriolic old Thomas says, I think it's a good thing for the circumstances. But then Thomas never laughs unless it's in a bitter, disapproving way. And there is no joy in that.

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Craig came up last night. It was fab. We sat and watched "View from the Top" with Gwyneth Paltrow. It was sweet! It was a total princess movie. He said I needed to laugh after the Car Trauma-Fest '05. I have been, but it was good to laugh some more, and with him. Sadly, we stayed up so late that I only got a few hours of sleep, but hey! I'm halfway through the functional part of my week, I can be tired and it's all okay.

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Profile Vexation

I recently joined myspace.com, thanks to my old pal Evan, aka Eban the Arian, aka Luder the Slack-Jawed Yokel. For the record, Evan is a Jewish punk kid, so none of his aka's are actually valid. Anywho, through that and another of my sites I occasionally breeze through, I've seen a fair amount of personal profiles. And you know? People are stupid! It's true! Keshau mentioned this very thing in her profile, I instantly approved. Here's a few that aggravate me more than most:

~"I am one of the nicest people you'll ever meet." Okay, aside from sounding lame at face value, who the fuck needs to say that? Do we really need to try and convince people of that? I mean, have you ever seen a profile that says "well, I'm pretty much an asshole. A sociopath, arguably. I can't say I'm very popular, but hey! I get by with the bodies I keep in my basement." I mean, please!

~"I'm looking for someone who can keep it real..." As opposed to someone who can keep it fake?

~"I like sexy attractive women..." Ohh really? You mean you don't like hags and trogs? Por que no?

~"li'l" This is only a problem if you think it's okay.

~PEOPLE WHO TYPE ONLY IN CAPS. Whoooa there, turbo. Chill on out, my little friend.

~Really obvious typos... Everyone makes mistakes sometimes, s'okay. But good grief! Really obvious, huge, glaring ones that aren't fixed?! AAAAACK!


Honestly. Now I'm going to rush off and check out all my profiles and make sure I haven't done any of these things...

music: Comfortably Numb, Pink Floyd
mood: caffeinated/tired