So today must be the day of long, lost friends. Well...sorta. After I finished talking to my little Greg-Pie, I got a call from none other than Sarah "Let's Get Thrown Out of Confirmation Class Numerous Times" Lujan! No joke. Hadn't talked to her in like a year and a half. Very cool. A little disturbing but cool, regardless. Now if I could just get a hold of Jesse....'fraid I might have really lost him this time. Hope not. I love that guy, as bizarre as that is. Sarah, it seems, was given my number by my brother.

So as much as I hate myself for thinking this way yet again....I'm starting to have second thoughts about my brother. I'm starting to feel sorry for him, and starting to feel guilty for essentially disowning him. This is ridiculous of me...absolute lunacy. He is what he is because he chooses to be. He has abused and terrorized my parents and I for the past nearly 20 years because he chooses to. So I don't know if society's bullshit ideas of blood actually meaning something are finally getting to me, or maybe I'm just realizing that it's not worth it to hold onto the hate I feel towards him. I don't know if these thoughts are going to change anything. But if they did, they wouldn't change the fact that I don't want anything to do with him, that I don't want to hear from or about him ever. I think it would just allow me to stop hating him, to care for him marginally more than any random person, and to at least publicly acknowledge that I have a brother. We'll see....