I had a smarmy day today. I couldn't sleep last night for the longest time and I think I only got like three hours in all. It made me miserable, and I'm just kind of sad anyway. I probably ought to throw in the disclaimer that at least 1/3 of this is sleep deprivation. I'm still at the icky, cranky, "someone needs a nap" stage of sleep dep. If I couldn't sleep again tonight I'd be happy and punchy tomorrow. It'd be fun for sure, but let's face it, I have too much to do. Anyway, back at the point... I'm stressed to the core. I feel like I have too much to do, too little money to do it with, not enough sleep, and no one to go through it with. I understand this is going to make me sound like a loser, but ya' know what? I don't care. Sometimes I get tired of dealing with life on my own. One of my patients asked me if I was going to live by myself, and I said yes. He said I was a strong woman. Well hell yes I'm strong, and really I don't need anyone at all. But it'd be nice sometimes. Once I believed I had someone, but it turned out that right then I was more alone than I ever had been before. The difficult thing, of course, is that having felt it once I now know what I am missing. Egads.