two maggots fighting in dead Ernest

I've been hit on a lot lately. There, I admitted it. I'm not sure where it's all coming from, but it is there, nonetheless. I have gone out with a couple of said suitors and have also been damn near stalked by another still. I've come to a conlcusion or two about the whole relationship/dating thing. As a single person who was once in the throes of love and a seemingly functional, very caring relationship, I have spent a lot of time wishing I had someone to care for and be cared for by. Maybe it sounds lame, maybe not. My bitchy hard ass exterior is admonishing me for admitting that, but it's true. Sometimes I get tired of dealing with everything alone, sometimes I get tired of being the only one to take care of me. So, I half assed sought a relationship. Now that I seem to have offers coming out of my ears, I find myself wishing once again for my independence. Weird, huh? When you're younger and someone persues you, you can generally assume that they're looking for fun, affection, status, sex, etc. etc. As I get older I am finding ever more people who are looking to find their life in someone else. They want to instantly attach themselves to every shred of my (or yours, whomever's, whatever...) being, my life. My theory is that these people are so unhappy, so ill at ease with themselves and their identities and their solitude that they seek to dissolve themselves as they become, well, me. To which in the words of my old pal and coworker Sarah Podolsky, I say "fuck that noise!" Mmmhmm. My even older friend Gregor Dahhlink has input as well, via IM:

Greg says:
you've got boys all over the place -- too bad they're idiots
Greg says:
ignoring them just leads to obsession, though, so don't do that
Julie says:
see, and I can't even ask you to advise me on the logistics of how to rid myself of them because you're not a stupid boy
Greg says:
no, I can't say I qualify for either "stupid" or "boy" these days
Greg says:get some Boy-o B Gone spray


Egads, where do I sign up for that?