I'm watching American Beauty, right? Haven't seen it in a while, needed something to watch while I attempt the evil math homework, blah blah blah. It's a lovely movie, one of my very favorites. But you know? Despite the fact that I've given up on it ever happening, I want someone to adore me enough to burn my name into the lawn. Wait, now that I think of it...considering Schwan's Man and my enamored patient...it would have to be someone cool. I think you'd have to be either extremely cool or frighteningly psychotic to burn someone's name into a lawn. Your average, run of the mill lecher wouldn't think of either. Perhaps if I ever encounter someone appearing to meet my standards I should verify it by whether or not they burn my name into their lawn.