Have you ever felt so far removed from the events that helped make you what and who you are that you felt like you'd been living through a filter? The authentic you is trapped on one side, desperately trying to push through, all the while the bullshit and phoney baloney (just doesn't look right if I spell bologna, does it? :-D ) crap breezes effortlessly through. *sigh* I believe a lot of people fall into complacency here, only half-living their lives. How tragic. I so don't want to be that way. I keep catching myself. I feel sometimes that if I could only manage to be where I wanted to be professionally I'd be a lot better off. I mean, how much time do we spend working? Waaay too much, my friends. I think I'm pretty much me when I'm off, but at work, and about work? I'm Julie-Light. Half the flavor, all the fat. Damn, those proportions are all wrong!

So I wound up having to work a few hours today. I called in sick last night from work. I had a fever and was miserable as hell. Today I went to the doctor, went to the pharmacy to pick up antibiotics for the misery-inducing bronchitis I have, made Craig come and hang out with me for a minute there, then came out here and got settled. "Here" being loverly Forestville, in a house I've been coming to almost as long as I've been alive, my aunt and uncle's house. Across the street, incidentally, from a house I have been going to since I was born, my grandparent's house. I guess I'm more at home here than anywhere else, in a way. Anyway, no one would cover for me except my boss (we call her Osama Mama, but she can also be very nice and today was one of those days), and she is sick as well. I suggested we split the shift since we both felt like hell. And split it we did. The measley four hours I worked wore me out. I need a day off to lay around and do nothing. That's not going to happen until thursday, but hey, at least it's in the works, huh?

I'm going to go WATCH TV!!!! Imagine! Cable! WOW!!!!