K

So Kristin called. Bizarre, huh? I had just sent her my new yahoo im, right? This is the only contact I have initiated in many months. No sooner had I sent it, the phone rang. She wasn't online, didn't know I had sent it. Weeeeiiiirrd. I never call her, email, anything. But every couple of months or so she calls me. It used to be that she'd call when she was upset, same shit, different year. But for the past few calls it's to see how I am, to check up on me, allegedly. She always tells me random shit that I don't care about or want to hear, and then she says something stupid and catty, and so help me God, I think it was unintentional, I think she's just socially inept! For instance, she wanted to know how much I made with my new raise. I told her, and she said "oh, I still make more than you!" This from the girl who can't hold down a job working for her parents! So I'm sitting here thinking, "yeah, with no education, no job security, and no work ethic! What a deal!" Then, she caught herself, and I SWEAR she was embarrassed. Now I know, this stunning revelation is completely unimportant to anyone but me, and maybe a little to Rachel, God love her. But really, why would she call? Why would she care she was being a snotty bitch? So weirrrrd. I asked her, right? She said "because I care about you." I'm like "since when?" What a P-S-Y-C-H-O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Psycho to the core.

Speaking of psycho, I really miss the Valley. I think I just miss a different part of California. Hell, something different in general. The valley is cool because there's a lot of neat stuff to do and see, oddly. It's close to Tahoe, a beautiful drive away, and then there's Yosemite that I never visited but lived 45 minutes away from. Dork. And there's the friends/family I was graced with while I was there. I think next payday I'm going roadtripping. I have a three day weekend, and it's my first big check. Cool. I think I'll leave after work, then go to Vee and Trick's. Or maybe I'll go and spend the weekend with Nancy or something. Pick up the psycho, visit Latif's, Pet Extreme, and Columbia....We'll see. Maybe I really should consider moving out of the area when the lease is up. As long as I can have my furkids, alll of them, I'm good. I miss Winston to death. *sigh*

So out of all of you, will someone please tell me what I am supposed to feel for K? And don't anyone give me any of that "nothing" bullshit, I had a lot with her. It's over now, thankfully, but there's a lot of history. So what do I do with that?

I'm in looooove

With DSL, that is. *swoooon* Sooooooooooo nice.

So how many people do you know charming enough to befriend the tech support boy? LOL Aren't I fabulous? My little friend, Benny, and I are now officially corresponding outside of a professional setting. Damn, sometimes I surprise even myself. I can find friends out of nowhere sometimes.

Hmmmmmmmm....what to do tonight? I'm being taken to brunch tomorrow, smashing...Other than that, I just don't know. Sadly I won't be doing much tomorrow night. Despite my best attempts, I'm still working Monday. *sigh* No Castro. *sniffle* *pout* Stupid work...

dsl

WOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

In much, much happier news, I got my dsl up and running on my new comp!!! SMASHING! It is SOOOOOO fabulous! I adore it, and just think, I can actually use the internet without getting booted 84,000 times an hour! OMG! Who knew? What a novelty. I still have aol im, but under silversiamese80, for all you aim type people. I'm thinking of getting msn messenger and/or yahoo im, but I'm really not sure. Very, very cool.

Dad's home from the hospital, I'm glad he is, but at the same time I wish he could still be on the good pain meds, iv is good. But hopefully the new stuff will work well, too.

Mr. Binkers

Mr. Binkers died yesterday. Jason found him in the morning when he woke up. He's getting cremated. No good, he was one of the coolest cats I've known. *sigh*

Winston

So since Bebe is not acclimating to Winston I've been flipping out worrying about him. The thought of giving him up upsets the hell out of me, I adore him to death. So I called a breeder to see if she knew of someone who might foster the old boy for the three months until I move. Sure enough, I was referred to a woman named Lisa who is willing to take him if my other option doesn't pan out. Cool. What a relief.

blahhhhh

I feel like I could use a looooooong vacation. My dad is doing okay, but it's really painful. It seems that my clinical detachment doesn't apply to my mom and dad. Is this what other people feel about medicine in general? Weird.

So my checking is overdrawn, and Marisol's dog, Bebe, is too tempermental to have any other dogs around. This means that Winston is going to be homeless soon. This kills me, I love my dog to death, he's is THE perfect dog, and he was made for me. So now, in addition to scrambling around trying to pay rent, helping out my parents, and all the other crap I'm dealing with, now I have to run around trying to find someone to keep Winston three months more 'til the stupid lease is up. Faaaaaaabulous.

Yayyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!! It's going to rain! Wooooohooooooooo!

In not so happy news, my dad has his bone graft tomorrow. *Sigh* I'm worried about him.

happy days are hyah again!

Woohooo!!!!!!!!!!!! I FINAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLY got my damned certificate! Soon, I won't be poor white trash! Well, not AS poor. Yayyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!

Not only that, my garbage disposal was FINALLY fixed and I FINALLY got the new key for my just barely fixed mailbox! SMASHING!

And...and, and, annnnnnnnnnnnd....I got my new comp! Ohhhh yes. It's fan-fucking-tabulous. Very nice, ever so much better than this one. And of course it's mine, an added benefit. WOOOHOOO! IT'll be fully functional next week when the dsl crappola arrives. SMASHING!

HOT DAMN!

Spoke to Jason, we're going to San Francisco on Sunday, going to take a field trip to the only place that matters, Tiffany and Co. Fabulous, we'll see how it goes. I miss him, despite it all. I'm curious to hear how things are with him and Anthony. They've been together for nearly a year now. Good for them. It sounded good over the phone. Hope so, for him.

the difference

Slow dancing on the boulevard In the quiet moments while the city's still dark Sleepwalking through the summer rain and the tired spaces You could hear her name when she was warm and tender And you held her arms around you There was nothing but her love and affection She was crazy for you Now she's part of something that you lost
[Chorus]And for all you know This could be The difference between what you need And what you wanna be Yeah, what you wanna be
Night swimming in her diamond dress Making small circles move across the surface Stand watching from the steady shore Feeling wide open and waiting for Something warm and tender Now she's moving further from you There was nothing that could make it easy on you Every step you take reminds you that she's walking wrong
[Chorus]Yeah, for all you know This could be The difference between what you need And what you want Every word you never said Echoes down your empty hallway And everything that was your world Just came down
Day breaking on the boulevard Feel the sun warming up your second hand heart Light swimming right across your face And you think maybe someday, yeah Maybe someday
[Chorus]For all you know Yeah, this could be The difference between what you need And what you want Yeah, for all you know For all you know Yeah, for all that you know This is what you wanna be Girl, what you wanna be

bright lights

She got out of town on the railway, new york bound Took all except my name Another alien on broadway Well, some things in this world you just can't change Some things you can't see until it gets too late

[Chorus]Baby, baby, baby when all your love is gone Who will save me from all I'm up against out in this world And maybe, maybe, maybe You'll find something that's enough to keep you But if the bright lights don't receive you You should turn yourself around and come on home

I got a hole in me nowI got a scar I can talk about She keeps a picture of me in her apartment in the city But some things in this world Man, they don't make sense Some things you don't leave until they leave you And then the things that you miss, you say
[Chorus]Baby, baby, baby when all your love is gone Who will save me from all I'm up against out in this world And maybe, maybe, maybe You'll find something that's enough to keep you But if the bright lights don't receive you You should turn yourself around and come on home

Let that city take you in (come on home) Let that city spit you out (come on home) Let that city take you down, yeah For god sakes turn around

[Chorus]Baby, baby, baby when all your love is gone Who will save me from all I'm up against out in this world Yeah well, maybe, maybe, maybe You'll find something that's enough to keep you But if the bright lights dont receive you Well, turn yourself around and come on home Yeah, come on home Baby, baby, baby, baby Come on home Yeah, come on home Yeah, come on home Yeah, come on home Baby, baby, baby, baby Come on home

hand me down

Someday they'll find your small town world on a big town avenue Gonna make you like the way they talk when they're talking to you Gonna make you break out of the shell cause they tell you to Gonna make you like the way they lie better than the truth They'll tell you everything you wanted someone else to say They're gonna break your heart, yeah

[Chorus]From what I've seen You're just a one more hand me down Cause no one's tried to give you what you need So lay all your troubles down I am with you now

Somebody ought to take you in Try to make you love again Try to make you like the way they feel When they're under your skin Never once did think they'd lie when they're holding you You wonder why they haven't called When they said they'd call you You start to wonder if you're ever gonna make it by You'll start to think you were born blind

[Chorus]From what I've seen You're just a one more hand me down Cause no one's tried to give you what you need So lay all your troubles down I am with you now

I'm here for the hard times The straight to your heart times Whenever it ain't easy You can stand up against me And maybe rely on me And cry on me, yeah Oh no, no, no Some day they'll open up your world Shake it down on a drawing board Do their best to change you They still can't erase you

[Chorus]From what I've seen You're just a one more hand me down Cause no one's tried to give you what you need So lay all your troubles down I am with you now

Lay them down on me Oh yeah You're just one more hand me down And all those nots don't give you what you need So lay all your troubles down...on me

unwell

All day staring at the ceiling Making friends with shadows on my wall All night hearing voices telling meThat I should get some sleep Because tomorrow might be good for something Hold on Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown And I don't know why

[Chorus]But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired I know right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be...me

I'm talking to myself in public Dodging glances on the train And I know, I know they've all been talking about me I can hear them whisper And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me Out of all the hours thinking Somehow I've lost my mind

[Chorus]But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired I know right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be

I've been talking in my sleep Pretty soon they'll come to get meYeah, they're taking me away

[Chorus]But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired I know right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be Yeah, how I used to be How I used to be Well, I'm just a little unwell How I used to be How I used to be I'm just a little unwell

infomercials

Why is it that infomercials are so stupid? Have you ever noticed that the people on these programs are complete morons? Why? Do they know that they're stupid, or are they unaware? Why are they so damned perky? Are the actors actually dumb as well, or is it just a way to pay bills? Is it possible to have self respect and do work like that? Aren't they mortified? God, I would be. They target an frightningly ignorant, trashy, altogether icky audience. It seems to me that this must be an indication of the product they sell. Eww, how tacky.

and one more thing...

DAMN IT, RACHEL! BLOG MORE!!!!!!! Don't make me come over there!!!

blah

Well, my dad has to have another, more serious surgery on his arm. Bone graft and all that. No good. It's happening tuesday, I'm worried as hell.

The junkie brother got arrested again, this time for a little while. Cool.

In ever so much better news, WOOHOOOO! I have a new computer! Yayyyyy! Thanks to Jill, not that she ever reads this. It's a fabulous comp with smashing software. Cooooool. I'm finally getting dsl. Heeeeeeeeehawwwwwww! No mas stupid AOL booting me off and waiting 17 years for the damned sites to load! SMASHING!

In other news, I think I'm dying. My shoulder is in AGONY. I nearly went to urgent care tonight, I was nearly in tears towards the end of my shift. *sigh* Sadly, I'm going to have to deal with the hell that is Kaiser tomorrow. Egads. Teehee, it's not really all that bad, but it sounds good that way.

Me? Melodramatic? Nooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

go to this site:

http://www.thebinxton.com

crappppppp.......

My friend Duchess (her real name, Sarah, also known as Duch-Treat in Julie Land) had to pull the plug on her mom! ACK! I don't know what happened, why she was on life support, but no good! Her mom was wonderful. Funny as hell, always there when you wanted to vent. *sigh*

I'm tired of being treated like crap by my boss. Is it really necessary to treat me like a subhuman? Tahoe's looking better and better. You know, given that I've only been doing this for a few months, I'm doing pretty damned well. In fact, I'm doing better than two people who have been there for like 2 years. Not only that, I take whatever crap she throws at me without bitching. Here I am on day shift, did I complain? Fuck no. So after all that, do I ever even get basic respect, let alone a thank you or pat on the back? I'll give you three guesses and the first two don't count.

Memory Walk

So I just did the Memory Walk for the Alzheimer's Association. It was cool, got to meet Spencer Hughes, walked with some chick from Penngrove and the chairwoman of the board for the alzheimers association. They were very nice, we had fun. And what a gorgeous walk...I should really walk that again. I guess I just don't think of it, usually. Hopefully I will now though.

Yoga Booty Ballet

You know what one of the best things about day shift is? I wake up early on my days off, too. Really, I think this is a good thing. For example, I laid in bed today for a while after waking up and watched tv. This is a luxury, honestly. The first thing I saw was an infomercial for, I swear I'm not making this up, the yoga booty ballet. I don't even think I could make that up. Words like "booty" are so not in my vocabulary. Eww. Anyway, it's some exercise program, right? And as a testimonial they had some whiter than white chick who looked like she belonged on Wall Street saying "It's really helped my booty!" Total deadpan, I kid you not, the woman was serious. Yikes. Honestly? I kept waiting for a member of the Saturday Night Live or Mad TV cast to pop into the ad. I was certain it was a joke. Sadly, it was not. But the point is, I don't think they show crap like that on primetime tv, that's the sort of stuff you only see early in the morning! It's like a whole new world...


On a more serious note, I keep thinking about Tahoe. I should have been there by now. I was talking to a guy who grew up there, and he made me think. If things keep up how they are at Satellite, why shouldn't I move up there when my lease is up? Of course, I'd want to wait until at least some of the snow was gone, and my lease is up in February, so maybe I could get a cheap month to month place 'til Spring. I'd need to do some serious per diem work til then. Of course, for that I would actually need the damned certificate. Grr. Stupid state. Anyway, all I know is that whenever I think of it, I feel kinda sad and I miss it so much. I sort of abandoned that goal when I got hired at Satellite, figured I had to stay and get my pct, then serve my two years or whatever. But I have my pct, and I didn't sign a contract. So why am I here?

It's official, the day shift killed me. Blah. I feel like I was hit by a truck, and then backed over two or three times. So what do I volunteer to do? A charity walk for the alzheimer's association. Don't you all wish you were smart like me?

Post Office Madness

Have you ever noticed how many freaky, weird, and let's face it, obnoxious people congregate at post offices? Why is this? For instance just last evening there was a man at the main Santa Rosa post office with a stupid looking Hawaiian shirt, weird shorts, and flyaway eyebrows (see below). There were maybe twenty minutes to get all of us sorry slobs waiting in line through said line before the place closed, and he spent maybe ten of it conversing with a postal employee running one of three working stations. It was something about his recent pick up of stamps, he was overcharged, undercharged, I don't know. The problem, or should I say problems lied in the fact that the infinitely patient postal employee explained the situation perhaps 45,000 times, all the while our islander-esque friend continued to ask essentially the same question. As if this were not enough, in between the failed attempts and having another go at the stupid question/stupid answer routine, they would exchange totally random, irrelevent, and nauseatingly cheerful bits of conversation. All the while our friend chortled, giggled, and guffawed with a mirth known only to him and his kind. And maybe the postal employee. It was more than small talk, yet less than close aquaintances might discuss. Interestingly, I really couldn't tell whether or not the employee was enjoying this little exchange, but our new friend certainly was. He was one of the faceless droves of weirdos that frequent post offices, jury selections, the dmv, and other necessary government institutions. He was cheerful, optimistic, and so gosh darn amused not only to be alive, but also to be spending his time at the Main Santa Rosa Post Office at approximately 5:47pm on a Wednesday evening. So help me God, he was excited about it.

Why the hell is he so damned happy? Is there something we should all know? Is there a wonderful and exciting secret that the post office offers? Where is he going, and where does he live? Why does he need so many stamps? Why doesn't he understand the employee? Why doesn't she get snotty with him like I would? Is she actually enjoying this, or is she really imagining as she patiently outlines the problem at hand just how she might "accidentally" back over him in the parking lot when she leaves? Why does he wear those clothes? Does he always act like this? Maybe it isn't confined to government offices, maybe he's like this at the dentist, or when he gets pulled over, or even when he's affixing the aforementioned stamps to whatever it is he affixes them to. If so, what's the matter with him? Doesn't he know he's being obnoxious?

This brings me to the eyebrows. Everyone's seen them, hell maybe you're even sporting a pair, or worse yet just one of them, right now. Those long, fluffy, bushy, frightening eyebrows that don't lay flat against ones' brow but in fact swoop and swoosh upward and outward as though they might take flight at any moment? Hence the FLYaway eyebrows? Ehhh? Ehhh? Suuure, you know what I mean.

Well this brings us back to our island-ready friend in the fabulous downtown post office. Why does he wear his eyebrows like that? Doesn't he know it looks weird? Does he worry that maybe they might frighten small children? I think I was frightened of such things as a small child. How is it that a person who's so weird in other ways is also weird in this way too? I'm used to seeing people that are weird and/or obnoxious in one or perhaps two select ways. He displayed the entire gamut of weird and obnoxious behavior that he was capable of. How curious.

I could go on, but perhaps I shouldn't.



____________________________________________________________________



a lot of people look to the horizon
just a few look in your face
-Basti

Mille Bourne ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Faaabulous. If I had my way, life would be like a good hand of Mille Bourne. I'd have all the safety cards, unlimited gas, right-of-way (aka no police intervention), puncture free tires, and no crashes. Divine, no? And one long road trip...or maybe a series of many road trips. I'd decide that later. But the rest sounds exquisite, doesn't it?

Meanwhile, back at reality....

So I was listening to the Marcie Smothers thing on KSRO. Egads, I'll be nice and not comment on her specifically. But the topic today was about how wretched and evil the Extreme Makeover, Home Edition thing was in Penngrove. People were bitching because they weren't given all the credit they felt they deserved, the design team were a small part of the actual proceedings, and the project wasn't actually completed in a week. Wow. Who knew that reality tv wasn't truly real?! I, for one, am shocked. Let's all go write the Easter Bunny and tell him all about it! And imagine! That design team! Who would EVER believe that they aren't all real, live, licensed and bonded contracters! My God! I was planning to hire them for a remodel next spring! Dirty Darn!

Okay, condescension aside for the moment, give me a bloody break! First of all, I don't hear the family bitching. And if they did, how the hell dare they? Last I heard they were given a fabulous house for free. Hmm, yep, that's the story alright. And more importantly, I'm assuming that there was no force involved in these people agreeing to build the house and provide supplies (SUPPLIESSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), time, and energy. Perhaps I'm confused, I could be wrong, but was there TECHNICALLY a gun to these assholes heads? I'm fairly certain there was, in fact, none. So that would leave us with two possibilities...first, they agreed to do the job in the hopes of free publicity. Evidently they hadn't researched how the show works, so it's their own damned fault. The second possibility is, imagine this, that they genuinely wanted to help the family. SHOCK! HORROR!!! EGADS! In this event they shouldn't be bitching now, should they? So nowwww, we can assume that either the people who are bitching are people who are stupid and didn't research the opportunity, or are people who have nothing to do with the situation whatsoever, such as our pal Marcie. Either way, they don't matter much.

My gripe (you knew there was a point somewhere) is this: What a bunch of miserable, whiny, unappreciative, spotlight stealing, irrelevent asses!!! Could Sonoma County be just a little worse represented than by these losers? Just a hair? Please?

Okay, on a perkier note... I loooove love love how radio shows use random music like the Star Wars song while they're talking. I dunno why. It's odd, I know, but it's funny as hell to me.

Alright, enough of my ramblings for the moment.

So when my alarm went off at 415 I was like, "oh you've GOT to be kidding." Nothing could have prepared me for that. Ugh. Once I got to work, though, it was fine. I think it's because Lito was there, we always so much fun together. It was a good staff day all around, actually. It's insane though, they packed even more patients into the main room. Lunacy. My radio friend is going to be horrified. He hasn't got a tv to watch, although he doesn't know that yet. YIKES! There really isn't a ton of fascinating things to do to pass the time there, tv helps. Poor dahhling.

ACK! Okay everyone, it's time to play the "does Julie have enough money for groceries?" game! Yes, yes, it's everyone's favorite. In my other window I have my bank statement loading. God, I wish I had valium...here goes....

*suspenseful pause*

*Julie holding her breath*

*whewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww* Oh thank God. For anyone who doesn't believe in God, behold! Not only a positive balance, but still enough to buy food for the rest of the week! *angels singing*

Hmm, I think I'm going to the store now.

Another weekend...

I spent yesterday with my parents. It's always so nice to see them. I miss them a lot, wish I could see them more.

Sadly, Sean was there. They bailed him out of jail. Woohooo. Not 24 hours later he was out again looking presumably for more drugs, cruising around on his bike, when he was hit by a car or truck or something. Hmm. Poor driver, it must've scared the hell out of 'em. Sean's fine, or as good as he ever is. He spent an afternoon in the ER/Radiology department, but whatever. I feel kinda bad, but I'm afraid to let myself feel too bad. I'm not exactly sure where it would stop if I started...

So tomorrow morning, come 415-ish, I'm going to have to drag my sorry ass out of bed. Ughhh. The good news is I think I'm as prepared as I can be. The coffee maker is on its timer, I have leftover fettucine alfredo I made for dinner tonight, so none of that racing around at the last minute like a psycho, looking for lunch. Hell, my scrubbies are even clean. Does this mean it'll be easy? LOL We'll see.

Ohhhhh, only 27 minutes 'til Extreme Makeover, Home Edition! Egads, it's like Christmas! Jeepers!

God how pathetic. *giggle*

yet another quiz!

Your beauty is all your own! You don't like to be
the same as everyone else and find that being
unique makes you more attractive. The normal
trends just don't fit you and things are just
more fun when they're upside down. You love to
be the one that turns heads with individuality
and spunkiness. You're kind of beauty, I would
say, could be characterized by your confidence.
Though it's not a physical trait, it
deffinately shows on you. Rock on!(If you can't
see tje pics, go to my homepage and look near
the bottom and find your result)

What kind of Beauty should you have? (girl) (PICS)
brought to you by

Last night on PM's...

*sigh* No mas late noches...no mas sleeping in 'til 11, no mas Tia Marisol...(well that isn't true really, but it sounds dramatic enough). And no mas fabulous pm patients...you know who you are. *smile*

Trish and I celebrated with a glass of wine. It was nice, brought back memories of training... but that's another blog. It's funny, by the end of the evening we were already so punchy that alcohol was the last thing we needed. I told her how Cheryl said I was contaminating the broom by packing down the garbage with it. I can think of a few things wrong with that statement. At any rate, Trish comes out with "yeah, don't contaminate them, we have to ride home on them!" We were nearly in tears... Terrible. Trish and I get that way sometimes. LMAO, it's still funny.

Anyway, come Sunday I'll have to watch Extreme Makeover Home Edition and go straight to bed. Yikes. I'll have to be up at like 415 or 430 if I really want to push it. Ick. No good. That's so early it's still last night, you know. Egads, how will I ever adjust?!

So my little friend Evan (Eban, remember that?) left me this funny message sounding all official (with the exceptions of the obscenities he threw in periodically) stating how bad the traffic was around the corn maze in Ghetto-Luma. How fabulous! He reminded me how much I want to go! I'm dying to, have been for maybe 4 or 5 years, but haven't yet. Will this year be the year? God I hope so.

blahhhh

Well, it's Wednesday night, almost Thursday morning. Better enjoy these hours while I can. Today wasn't bad, just sad sorta. Lydie is gone, today was her last day. She was such a sweetheart, and a damned good nurse. Hope she keeps in touch. I just feel blah in general I guess.

Sean was arrested for vandalism or something. Hope they lock him up forever.

Stupid country songs

Good God. So here I am, it's my day off and I've been running around like a maniac all day, then came home with Winston and cooked for the next few days. Smashing, but egads. I turned on the last couple minutes of my friend's radio show to hear what the old boy had to say, right? Unfortunately I got a few minutes of stupid country songs. Now I know I've commented on these in the past, but I have a new observation. It's sickening how sweet this shit is. I mean, fucking hell, are these people so inbred they're delusional? Ugh. *rolls eyes*

*sigh* How depressing.

bathroom remodeling

Grr...I wanted to go up to my mom and dad's house today. You know, free laundry, free dinner that someone else makes, that kinda thing. I was going to bring Winston... But noooooo...I forgot they're having the bathroom redone and they won't even be staying there! Blah! So now I need to find something new for my son and I to do. My dad thinks the dog park...maybe so. I haven't got many errands to do, guess I could bring him along for a few.

So Rachel and I are going to Costcow this morning. Icky people EVERYWHERE! ACK! No bueno. Maybe if it's really bad I can hide their carts like Gabrielle says. Hmm...

Lewis is getting so big! I can't believe him! I think he's bigger than Silver, and he isn't even a year old yet! He's cute as hell, but when he starts licking my fingers early in the morning I want to turn him into slippers...

I got a Matchbox 20 cd in the mail from half.com the other day. I love it. It reminds me a lot of last year, working at the hospital, listening to these songs on the fabulous central valley radio stations. Really, I don't know why Sonoma County has such lame ones, for the most part. The valley is so much less civilized in so many ways, but they have our radio beat, totally. This time of year is kind of hard for me, a year ago now I was just finding out that she was cheating, and trying madly to hold it together. There were good days when she'd try to convince me that everything was going to be okay. We'd drive up to Columbia, or to breakfast at Latif's. But then there were the other days when she would flake on bringing me dinner, and I wouldn't hear from her at all for a couple of days, and I would know she was staying with Susie. Sometimes she'd call and tell me she was with Susie. And then there was the suicide attempt, the hospitalizations, I think there were three, or was it four? And all those drives back to Sonoma in the middle of the night, falling asleep at the wheel. I didn't have anything for me here, either, but it was like I had so much pain there I just had to get away.

And then I ended it all, put it as far as I could behind me. I knew it wouldn't stay away forever, but I had to survive, so I shoved it all back. It seems like a different life, there's so much psychological distance placed in between. But chronologically it's not even been a year, and the person I was there is still here somewhere.

Yayyyyyy!!! Sunday!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh thank God, a day off. *whew* I'm dreading day shift to the core. Noooo fun. *sigh*

So tomorrow all I really want to do is sleep in, go to the beach, maybe cook...but instead I have a bunch of crap to do. *sigh* Oh well, at least I'll get to see my newest special little guy, Winston. *swoons*

I'm in love...

Today I met my latest furkid. His name is Winston (Wilson in Marisol-Land). He's a five year old boxer and I adore him. He's the sweetest boy on the face of the planet, and certainly one of the cutest. He's the perfect dog, he loves cars, behaves in pet stores, doesn't yank on a leash, and absolutely adores me back. What more could I ask for?