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Crikey Style

So Rachel and I went camping at Pomo Canyon. It was FAAAAABULOUS! And, in case you hadn't yet figured it out...we didn't get murdered! Woohoo! Anyway, I've been hearing about Pomo for like ten years almost, but had never been. Hell, I didn't even know where it was. It's exquisite! Walk in campsites and redwoods everywhere. It was so beautiful, so refreshing. I ADORE it. Smashing to the core. Rachel made faboo chenya (aka chicken) for dinner, very yum yummers. Mmm...West County style. *slurpalicious* Then after some requisite s'mores we dove into the beer. We were admittedly nursing them, yummy (and also requisite) Apricot Ale, and Coronas of course. All of a sudden, out of the darkness a drunken "coastie" (two bunny ears) appeared. He sat down with us, asked what we were doing like 48 times, and told us how drunk he was maybe 49 times. It'll be our little secret, I told him. He was cool, though, entertaining. He left, but soon came back with a friend, then another, and another...I think Rachel and I entertained (no, not like that, sickos!) hmmm...6? 6 or 7 coasties over the course of the evening. Let's see...there was A-A-R-O-N, Risotto, Lazaro, Some Guy From NY, Double A-Ron (not to be confused with A-A-R-O-N of course)...hmmm I think that was it except for my flavorite...he was a stunningly adorable male version of me, Danny. I knew I adored him when he began talking about "crikey style," and the rest was history. Smashing! We had lots of fun...fabulous conversation, lots of laughs. I adore that guy. Pity I'll never see him again, we had sooooo much fun. *sad face*

Rachel and I had a faaaabulous time. It was crazy, felt like high school sleepovers all over again. Crazy, after all these years. It was sooooooo much fun. Once we finally got to bed our camp was ransacked by gluttonous racoons. What a bunch of piggy bastards! My God, they ate everything! And we'll never know where they took the mar-mallows, or mallows as my little friend called 'em. Fascist animals. We woke up early, opened the tent up and got an eyeful of racoon-esque destruction. It so didn't suit us. So much fun!!!

THANK YOU SQUEAKY-O!!!! LMAO and thank you, U.S. Coast Guard. *wink*

And thennnnnnnnnnnnnn, after I got home, I got a phone call from none other than my dahhling friend, Evan!!! AAAHHHHHHH!! I looooooooooooooove this guy!!!! He's like family to me! I haven't seen or heard from him in over a year! YAYYYYY!!!! And he is in contact with PHIL!!! My little sweety-roos! These guys and I were like the three musketeers, we used to have all sorts of fun doing stupid things when we were younger. A while back Phil called my parents' home and I happened to be there. We talked a while and then he asked me out for dinner. I went to Aleworks at the appointed time, totally stoked, but no Phil! I hadn't heard from him since, it was all very curious. So I started to tell Evan about it and he was like "you flaked on him!!!" I'm like "the hell I did, I was there!" Somehow we missed each other, how assanine. Anyway, we're all hopefully going to get together tomorrow. What a gorgeous weekend!

Oh, and I made this extraordinarily rich, from scratch (of course) chocolate mousse. I wanted to see if I could do it. I'll admit that it would have been easier with a thermometer and a mixer... But nonetheless, yes! I can do it! It's damn good. Rachel, come over for some!

http://www.livejournal.com/users/playakitten419/16089.html

WOOOHOOOO!!! No mas work for three days!!! Hot damn! It's like Christmas, but betta...

Rachel and I are going camping tomorrow night, going to Pomo or Bodega Dunes...hope we don't get murdered. Assuming we don't, it'll be faaabulous. I adore camping.

Before I leave, Marisol and I are going to the National Kidney Foundation yardsale at Shavon's. We're going for two reasons: 1.)to check out her house (scaaaaaary...) 2.)to rattle her. Should be a hoot and a holler as Mumsy would say. Teehee!

hmmm...

Fabulous day, very mellow. God, I love Lito, he makes my life ever so much easier. *sigh* I am SO not happy about day shift! Grrrr. *sniffles* I love my pm patients and most of the staff...
:-(

So I've decided that I want to go to San Francisco State for my nursing program. I don't know why I didn't think of it before. It's perfect. It's urban, lots of trauma, and duh, it's SF. Smashing.

*keeping fingers crossed for Rachel*

NOOOooooOOOOOOoooOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

EGADS! I was notified today that come October 11th, I'm going to have to switch to DAY SHIFT! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This means 5am!!!!!!! AM!!! As in, a couple hours after I usually go to bed! Nooooooooooooooooooo......... Soooo not cool. *sniffles* I'll die. I am so not happy about this. And no more of my pm people. NOOOO!!!! I hate life!!!

I'm (still) sick, sick sick, to the core. *sneeze, cough, sniffle* I think I'm a little better than yesterday, it figures, because I'm off today. LOL Whatever...

The patient that I was so miserable about died yesterday morning. Good for him...bittersweet for us.

Hmm...guess I haven't got much to say after all! Had to happen someday.

LMAO

ROFL...some psycho named Fitor commented on my blog in Spanish. COOL! He probably told me that I won a gagillion dollars, a '68 mustang hardtop in silvery blue, a gi-normous motor home with free gas for eternity, and hmm...let's see...I dunno, some thing else cool. Sadly though, I am unable to translate Spanish, so I'm screwed. *sigh*

I'm sick!!!!

*whine!* *complain!* *cry!*

I feel like hell! I think I'm dying. Sore throat, achey, and my lungs feel like they've been through a grinder. Gotta love asthma. You get a cold and it becomes T-fuckin'-B before you can say "nyquil!" Ahh well...

Was supposed to have dinner with Jill, but I'm miserable and she didn't feel like getting sick again. It's a good thing...blahhh. I have no energy.

So work again tomorrow. *Sigh* Can't be any worse than Saturday with Joe. Egads. There are no words to describe how incredibly lame last night was. Good God. He should be prosecuted, or at the very least have his license taken away. I'll grant you that things probably appeared much worse because I was sick, but incompetence is incompetence, sick or not.

So I was woken up from my nyquil induced sleep by Rudy! It was fabulous. I wasn't going to church because I was dead, so he brought me brunchfast and we spent the morning/early afternoon together. Very nice.

So I made minestrone soup, and I must say, it's damn good. I made enough for about 84,000 people and froze it. Keen. Now I'll be eating minestrone until next year. So now it's not quite 2030, I'm semi-awake, with nothing to do and no energy. Honest to God, tv only has so much appeal. I'm listening to Jewel, but it's depressing, makes me think of what I want and can't have. And if I'm not careful, it could very well remind me of what I want and used to have. EGADS!!! Quick, I need something to distract me! Jeepers, and even Extreme Makeover: Home Edition isn't on because the stupid Emmy's are on. Damn, what a sad sack I am. *giggle* Ahh well...it makes for good blogging anyway. ;-)

hmmm, the accuracy of this one seems a bit off...

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So today must be the day of long, lost friends. Well...sorta. After I finished talking to my little Greg-Pie, I got a call from none other than Sarah "Let's Get Thrown Out of Confirmation Class Numerous Times" Lujan! No joke. Hadn't talked to her in like a year and a half. Very cool. A little disturbing but cool, regardless. Now if I could just get a hold of Jesse....'fraid I might have really lost him this time. Hope not. I love that guy, as bizarre as that is. Sarah, it seems, was given my number by my brother.

So as much as I hate myself for thinking this way yet again....I'm starting to have second thoughts about my brother. I'm starting to feel sorry for him, and starting to feel guilty for essentially disowning him. This is ridiculous of me...absolute lunacy. He is what he is because he chooses to be. He has abused and terrorized my parents and I for the past nearly 20 years because he chooses to. So I don't know if society's bullshit ideas of blood actually meaning something are finally getting to me, or maybe I'm just realizing that it's not worth it to hold onto the hate I feel towards him. I don't know if these thoughts are going to change anything. But if they did, they wouldn't change the fact that I don't want anything to do with him, that I don't want to hear from or about him ever. I think it would just allow me to stop hating him, to care for him marginally more than any random person, and to at least publicly acknowledge that I have a brother. We'll see....

GREG!

I finally got ahold of my little travelling rn friend, Greg. He's a total pig, but cool. Entertaining at the very least. Verrry interesting. I'm so jealous of his lifestyle. He has this fabulous motorhome, huge thing, and he drives all over the country and works. How slick is that? Mmmm...someday.

poonany baked goods

I have a friend that needs some poonany pie...but maybe he needs some poonany cake. Or poonany souffle...but if he got that, he couldn't yell because it'd make the poonany fall. Hmm. Or on the run, he could get some poonany cookies, or even poonany tart, but that's not as healthy. Or if he's feeling sophisticated, perhaps some poonany biscotti would tickle his fancy.

starvin' marvin

LMAO I love sick perverted people. I ask my friend what he's wearing and he says "is a smile too much?" ROFL Then he asks me what I'm doing and I say...nevermind. But it's very funny. If you're curious, just ask me what I'm doing next time we talk.

I'm fammied! Dying, even! Maybe I should eat something....hmmm intriguing idea....

So I'm telling Tom my love life troubles. Gotta love gay men. Smashing.

*sigh*

Don’t
Don't walk too close Don't breathe so soft Don't talk so sweet Don't sing Don't lay oh so near Please don't let me fall in love with you again Please let me forget all those sweet smiles all of the passion all of the peace, the heat, the pain all those blue skies where your words were my freedom Please, don't let me fall in love with you again Too many times I've cared too much I stood on the edge and say that you held my hand and knowing too well I couldn't hide from those eyes Please, don't let me fall in love with you again

Near You Always
Please don't say I love you, those words touch me much too deeply and they make my core tremble Don't think you realize the effect you have over me And please don't come so close It just makes me want to make you near me always Please don't kiss me so sweet it makes me crave a thousand kisses to follow And please don't touch me like that makes every other embrace seem pale and shallow Please don't look at me like that it just makes me want to make you near me always Please don't send me flowers they only whisper the sweet things you'd say Don't try to understand me your hands already know too much anyway It just makes me want to make you near me always And when you look in my eyes please know my heart is in your hands It's nothing that I understand, but when in your arms you have complete power over me So be gentle if you please, 'causeYour hands are in my hair, but my heart is in your teeth And it makes me want to make you near me always I want to be near you always I want to be near you always I want to be near you always

insomnia

Can I just say exactly how much I HATE AOL?! Could they possibly be just a hair more incompetent?

Here I go again...maybe I'll finish before I get cut off again. I'm being demanding, I know...

Can't sleep...nearly 1am and here I am. It's been waaaay too much time online today. But some of it was cool though. Talked with Poi. I adore that girl...nothing like lesbo-therapy. She thinks I should cut off my situation before it gets worse. She thinks that I'll almost certainly wind up miserable in the end. I hate to admit she's right. But I really don't want to lose what I have. So I'll keep trying, although I think I'll know I can't bear it any longer soon. On I go....

kibbles and munchy bites

That's the name of a dog food I saw at Safeway the other night...do you know I would get a dog just to feed it that kind of food? Just solely because it's funny. *sigh* Hmmm, maybe that's why I haven't got one...

So I listened to my friend's radio show today, and I learned a good deal about country music. First of all, it reaffirmed my belief that banning country music would, indeed, prevent inbreeding. Absolutely...but the second thing was..damn, it's really very funny! Honest to God, what a bunch of sad sacks! Egads! It's insane....what a fucked up miserable bunch of people with unbelievably bad luck!

One song in particular, this chick was essentially saying that she didn't require Tiffany and Co., she could find the same quality at WalMart, aka Wally World in Julie Land. Bear with me here, I'm paraphrasing. Eww, oh my God, you so can't. Don't get me wrong, I adore Wally World, but Tiffany's it is not. Ick, the gist of the song is that she's bragging about just how redneck/white trash she is. Ick. I was horrified.

Thankfully, my friend was fabulous, adorable, really.

So I've had this headache (migraine) since yesterday. I was kinda hoping it would go away overnight, but no such luck. *sigh* Grrr, and the more I think about it? I have all of my days in a row I think! Maybe not, maybe I'm working Saturday. Beats me.

My weekend was okay, quiet. Went and saw my parents on Saturday, that was good, the brother wasn't there, thank God. And then yesterday just went to church, basically. I finalllllly finished the newsletter, or I think it is anyway. We'll see.

I have a lot to think about. Didn't get too far with it yet, it seems. I guess I did pretty well distracting myself from it. :-P

This is part of an email to an old friend, Nancy...


I just started to write you, but the comp crashed. We'll see if I can get through this one before it happens again. Gotta love aol. So I washed that lunch bag you gave me for the first time yesterday. I've been using it for months, but it never got dirty until this week somehow. Anyway, as I was removing it from the washer, I noticed a pocket I'd never noticed before. And in it, $30. I had no idea! Thank you so much. You must have thought horrible things of me. I'm sorry I didn't find it to thank you sooner. Finding it brought me back to a different time. Since I came back I have worked really hard to forget everything that happened to me there. The trouble is that not everything was bad. I moved to Oakdale to start my life, my adult life. I planned to stay there with Kristin forever, or at least lay our roots there. You and Cath became my side of the family. When my family broke up, I still had you guys. You were all I had, my biological family was so far away, literally and figuratively. I don't think I ever thanked you guys for that. It meant more than you can imagine. It helped keep me alive. When I finally got away from everything, I was in so much pain, so broken, all I wanted to do was forget. To this day I can't allow myself to remember all of it. But no matter how hard I try, as time goes on, more and more is coming back. I don't want it to, but it's there. And some memories won't go away. I miss you and Cath, I miss Oakdale, I miss my cats and my home and my life.
I know it's late, and I know you guys have moved on, but I just wanted to thank you for everything. You saved me many times and in many ways.
Love,
Julie

Some people live their whole life, they experience all the highs and lows a life can bring. These highs and lows can be very severe, births and deaths of all sorts. They live, only to be forgotten as their lives fade away. They sit and wait for death, sometimes welcoming it, sometimes not. They are thrown into homes with ignorant, uneducated, uncaring people who treat them as if they are unappealing pieces of furniture or irritating children they hate to have to deal with. The lucid ones understand, see it happening, and have to deal with the fact that they have been cast away. They look into their future and see the loneliness of abandonment and the pain of their diseases as their only companion until death.

The staff at the skilled nursing facilities (odd choice of name, I think) do not care for the patients. They do not feed them, figuratively and many times literally. These patients are going to die eventually, but I wonder what the criminal charge would be for expediting the process? These staff members should be charged.

People die. It's what happens, and much of the time it is a blessing. But is it necessary that the end of their lives be like this?

vacation

So I've decided to go on vacation for my birthday, but I need to decided where, how, and with whom (if anyone). I CAN'T DECIDE!!! Grrr. I kinda wanna go somewhere I've never been, but Tahoe in February calls me. Or maybe Seattle? Mmmm...snow.

I feel icky, dirty, yuck. I haaaaaaaate working reuse, blood clots and sterilants do not thrill me. *sigh* I have adopted a new patient, actually two, under my wing. Both are new patients, men, one is older and one is in his 40's I think. I'm really attached to the 40-something year old, but I adore the older one too. He's very sweet. I make it my goal to assure the procedure is as comfortable as possible. But the younger one breaks my heart. He's pretty damned sick, a divorcee, lives alone with his cats. Unbeknownst to him, he completely destroys my desensitized, burly-girl exterior. He just absolutely kills me! All of the ultrasensitivity I have worked for years to repress is stirred up enough to make me miserable for him. It's so damned sad...poor thing, I just want to take care of him! ACK! What's wrong with me? Egads, how unappealing.

wooohooo!

So it appears that all of those posts I've been trying to publish all this time are finally published. Hot damn. *smiles gleefully*

this better work, damn it!

So here goes..third time's a charm. Blah, stupid blog. Maybe this is an indication I should stick with one of my other three blogs. Hmmm...

Whatever, I'm determined, grr! So I'm waiting for Rachel to come over for breakfast, Lewis is curled up in the doorway absorbing whatever cool he can for the day, and Silver is passed out somewhere. The Cure is blasting..Just Like Heaven. What a gorgeous song. *sigh* The Cure is the one band that I'll always have. No matter how entwined in my relationships it is, it's never spoiled by the breakup.....

Hahahaha...Squeaky-o is hyah...gotta cook.

Tinkerbell

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egads, another blog...

So now I have three...no, technically four, but one's abandoned.
Hmmm. Maybe I should abandon the other livejournal one...the thing with livejournals is that they have those smashing little mood icons. *sigh* Decisions, decisions...perhaps I'll abandon it mostly. Just use it for special occasions. *bites lip and furrows brow, thinking....* Yes, I think so...

Rachel and I were productive as hell today. We went to Costco...astonishingly I stayed under budget. Had to happen sometime. It was hotter than two rats fucking in a wool sock though. Jeepers. Disgusting. Honest to God, when I choose between nursing schools weather will play a large part in my decision. Seattle, maybe? *purrrs* Anyway, we did laundry after...woohoo! Clean scrubbies! Smashing. Then I basically fooled around the rest of the day. Hung out with Terry Bear, bought my dad his birthday present. Whew..

I am so not looking forward to working tomorrow. *sigh* Wonder which patients I have? Hmmm...I think I'm on the west side. Oh faaabulous. I think that's exactly where I am. Beautiful. One of my patients will be this disgusting old man who feigns deafness so I have to move closer and he can stare at my tits better. Ewwwwwwww. Honest to Christ, I have to restrain myself from slapping him sometimes. *giggle* Aren't you all happy there are loving, benevolent people like me in medicine?