Ik haat daglichtbesparingen

That's an almost accurate translation of "I hate daylight savings" in Dutch. In case you were curious. I think I should use Greek more, I liked the alphabet, it was faboo.

So tomorrow is the famed Halloweeen in the Castro. Woohoo! Let's all hope I don't get stabbed. Or trampled to death, or any other such unpleasantness. :-D Oh, and include Craig in those well-wishes, he's coming with. It's going to be oh so cool, I've wanted to do this for years. And what's cooler than that?

In that vein I have just now decided to start one of those lame "thing I want to do before I turn __" lists. Now normally I'm against this sort of thing. Do we really need lists to later be used as a measuring stick of our self worth? I mean, good grief, aren't we hard enough on ourselves without visual aides? Egads. That said, I'm going to do one because...I dunno, it seems like a good idea at the moment. And I know I'll do these things. So there will be no resulting self esteem battery possible. So there.

Things I'll Do Before I Turn 30
1.)get at LEAST my AS in nursing
2.)Drive across country
3.)Leave the country, even if it's only by car
4.)Be fully fluent in ASL
5.)Live in at least one city outside the 707 area code
6.)Have (or be actively working towards having) a child, biologically or adopted

I imagine I'll come up with more later....hmmmm...

current mood:ferklempt (I dunno why)
current favorite website:urbandictionary.com
current music:Lewis purring

I have a life coach and one of the many good things about her is that she is always asking for feedback. Wouldn't it be nice if you could fill out a feedback questionaire in other areas? I mean I know that technically you could, but it'd be nice if it was in a pre-printed, stress free format. "On a scale of one to ten, ten being the best, how happy were you with my discussion of the other women in my life?" Okay, 1. "On a scale of one to ten, how happy are you with the level of respect I exhibit for you as a human being?" Ummm, 2? And there could be work ones, too... "On a scale of one to ten, how much respect and confidence in my abilities do you have for me, the AM Charge Nurse?" Hmm, -18?

So today is tuesday, I have no money, I can't buy bread and milk, I have nothing to bring for dinner and lunch all week, and my half tank o' gas has to last me 'til friday. The interesting thing is that I'm really starting to see some progress with finances as a whole. I'm just broke now 'cause my last check went to rent and a couple bills. And I've basically made peace with the fact that I'm in my mid-twenties, I'm supposed to be where I am, broke and struggling. The only issue I've had with all of this was recently when I was at Aroma's with Gotti of course. We were sitting near the entrance and whom did I lay eyes on but my old friend Bridget from grade school. I love her, I really do. She's a beautiful person, and while I was really happy to see her, it kinda made me feel like a loser because she has a degree and a functional life and she told me all about all our old friends who have the same. We were then joined by Emy, another old friend, who was just as perfect as the rest. Fabulous. Of course they're beautiful and kind and good, and I was left feeling like a fuck up, no degree, no functional love life, broke, and with a big zit, too! UGH. It was depressing. I felt kinda ferklempt about the whole thing for a few days until Craig assured me that their smiles were pasted on and that the functional exterior only went so far. Everyone has their issues, he consoled, and they're all living some sort of a lie. *whew* I love Craig.

Speaking of which, we came up with another couple lines at work last night. First, "If you're about to be the bigger person, DON'T DO IT!" And second, along the same lines, "If you can't say anything nasty to an ex, don't say anything at all!"

Last weekend I met a fabulous new friend, Anthony. He's ohhh so funny. And as the maternal lesbian that I am, he's my new gay son. He's barely 20, the little monkey. Anyway, Sunday night we were sitting at Aroma's (once again) and there was yet another straight couple doing the goats eating pancakes act. It was fucking nauseating, actually. My first reaction was that it didn't matter whether they were gay or straight, but Anthony pointed out that if it were a gay couple they would have been bashed in one way or another. And he was right. So that made the pancake consuming even worse. So my little son had the most BRILLIANT idea. We wrote a petition asking them to cease and desist the heavy petting in public, and passed it around. We got several signatures, and just as I was about to pass it to them they left. Damn! Can you imagine making out in public and having someone give you a petition signed by innocent onlookers? God, it would be mortifying! Faaabulous! Anyway, we decided that it wasn't a total loss, now we're going to pre-print some and have them on hand for just such occasions. *teehee!*

Thank you, wish me a better day than I had yesterday.

Vaffanculo, DMV!!!!!!!!!!!!

This one took some research, but what we're looking at today is my ancestor's language, Italian, for "GO FUCK YOURSELF, DMV!" Bastards.

Okay, so 6 weeks ago I ordered a replacement driver's license after the piece of filth that broke into my car stole my old one. 6 weeks ago. I have yet to receive anything, so I called them today. I spoke with a hateful, bitchy woman who told me I needed to get a new picture. That's great. I can get past the fact that I was told by the woman who ordered my license for me 6 weeks ago that I didn't need a new photo. She made a mistake, that's totally okay. What is not in any way acceptable is the fact that the DMV has no concern for the fact that I paid for something that had I not called, I never would have received. That, my friends and/or readers, is not okay. The insult was furthered by the whore that relayed the news to me on the phone. So now it's what, a week and a half before Halloween in the Castro and I have no fucking photo ID. And it can all be traced down to the incompetence and complete lack of customer service exhibited by the fuck-ups employed by the California DMV. But hey, what do I know? It's just my salary (and yours) that is being excessively taxed to pay for the state welfare program known as the DMV. Swine.

Αίγες που τρώνε τις τηγανίτες

Is that not the coolest title you've EVER FUCKING SEEN?! You know what that is? It's "Goats Eating Pancakes" in Greek. It's true, I swear. Smashing, really. So I was at Aroma's again tonight, hanging out with Gotti and looking for Monkey. I was hoping that Monkey could get me out of a little predicament I'm in. But that's another story, and believe you me, it's classified. Anywho, Gotti and I were sitting outside on one of the only benches open after 8. Fascists. But I digress. A couple walked up and proceeded to loudly slurp and chew one another's respective faces off. Then they walked a bit further and did it again. And again. It was fucking UNBEARABLE! Then the girl sat in the remaining chair, right smack in the midst of all us outside kids and her boyfriend stood behind her, every few seconds leaning forward to lap and gnaw at her some more. Honest to God, you could hear them in Sebastopol. It was unreal, it really was. I was confused. Out of the entire sidewalk in front of the coffeeshop, out of the entire parking lot, out of the many dark, deserted places Railroad Square has to offer, what exactly made them choose the most populated place to make out? And furthermore, could they not have tried to hold down the noise? Said noise was in fact quite comparable with that of goats eating pancakes. Or perhaps I should say "Αίγες που τρώνε τις τηγανίτες." Yep, that was the inspiration for the most fabulous title ever. Sadly, that is the only good that came of the vile displays between the happy couple.

Now I know what you're thinking...you're wondering how I can be such a hateful, bitter hag. I'm not, at least not right now anyway! My gripe is not so much that they were snogging in public. My gripe is that they were snogging so damned LOUDLY! I mean, they weren't dry humping for Pete's sake, it wasn't that. But fuck, man! Do we all have to HEAR it?! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

I think the lesson here is this. BE CIVILIZED, DAMN IT! We've all been blissfully smitten kittens, and we've all been unable to abstain from smooching our beloved in public. But for the love of sanity and the avoidance of nausea among the surrounding masses, let's do our very best to keep the PDA's in the inaudible and circumstantially appropriate range. Thank you and goodnight.


"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come."
-Matt Groening (1954 - ), "Life in Hell"

Hooray for the first rain of the season and the first time I ever ever ever got to use Victor's (the civic's) windshield wipers for something other than cleaning the windshield. Yayyyy!

I know I've been ditching the whole blogging thing, I'm just ridiculously exhausted lately. I swear, I use up all my energy at work just to be safe, when I'm off I'm just braindead.

Tonight Gotti and I went bowling. I could do absolutely anything with Gotti and I wouldn't feel self conscious. Tonight was the third time in my entire life that I'd set foot in a bowling alley, so as you can imagine it was pretty snickerful. We had a lovely time though. While we were waiting for our lane I ran into my (sorta) ex, Mel. It was really good to see her, I miss talking with her. Today was just kinda an old friend day. While I was waiting for Gotti at Aroma's I hung out with my old pal Monkey. He's a lambchop, he really is. And we even ran into his sister Jinxie Pie. It was great...I adore them so. Monkey kept tormenting me, pinching my tootsie pop filled cheek and tickling me. Some things never change.

I just got paid and I have virtually no money. I love rent. I say that sarcastically, but I truly do love that I am able to pay it, even if I'm broke after. Life is good.

I'm going to bed...

my new favorite lines...

C-U-N-Toledo!

Don't drink the Hatorade! It'll make you hate!

There's more...to be continued.....

Night Shift

Tonight, had Osama Mama walked in around 9:30-10, we would've been toast. 9 out of our 12 patient chairs were empty, called in early or not coming for their own reasons. I was sitting at the computer, I'd been writing a nasty letter to Bank of America. Craig was laid over the counter so that his head was hanging upside down in front of me and I was giving him a scalp massage. Marisol was sitting next to me tickling me. Frank and Miguel had pulled up chairs to a tv at an empty station and were watching Ultimate Fighting. Now THAT is what I call night shift. I just wish it happened more than once a year.

*teehee*

We have many lines on night shift....the newest is between Craig and I only, no one else gets it somehow. "I love it when a plan comes together!" We have been very into the A-Team thing lately. Tonight was a perfect "plan comes together" night. *smiles blissfully*

Asparagus and Beef

I haven't barely turned on a burner on my wonderful Wedgewood stove in eons, it seems. Tonight I enjoyed some much needed solace as I cooked an obscene amount of food. Not to be eaten tonight, mind you. I cooked three and a half different meals to be frozen for later use. Parmesan risotto? Check. Vegetable beef stew? Check. Honey almond granola? Check. Evil Gloria's Absolutely Ex-Fucking-Quisite Asparagus and Beef? Check. Clean kitchen and fridge-agator? Check. *whew*

Kristin's mother Gloria is one of the most hateful people I've ever met. Well, most of the time. She was good to me a couple of times when I was nearly ready to off myself, and I will always appreciate that. And she was always good to K's niece and nephews, I always respected that, too. But character aside, she was an incredible cook. I just got her Tomale Pie recipe, much to her chagrin. *giggle* Maybe I'll make that on thursday. The asparagus and beef thing is too damned exciting for words. I ate this once at Gloria's house and have been fiending for it ever since. That was probably three years ago or more. Good grief. Well, my little friends...it is mine. I just whipped up a batch and ohhh it is SO what I remember. YAYYYYY! And I think I've improved upon it by making it with jasmin rice. Everything is better with jasmin rice, you know.

Okay I know it's weird that I just wrote a whole post about the food I cooked tonight, but give me a break. I really actually love cooking, but I rarely do it anymore. When I do manage to spend a little time in the kitchen I appreciate it all the more.

Damn, I'm good. Thank you K!!!!

When I was a child, one of my favorite things was when my mom or dad washed my sheets and blankets, and after a long day of climbing trees and making massive mud puddles in the orchard we lived along side, I'd take a hot bath and climb into my freshly made bed. I can still feel the cool sheets and smell the clean linens. It's funny, linens at my parent's house still smell the same. What is that? I haven't the faintest, but it's divine. I still love a freshly made bed. I spent the afternoon doing laundry, so tonight I'll be afforded the comfort once again.

What a weekend. Sucks that it's over, but I need to get back to reality and the move the hell on anyway. Yesterday Keshau and I went to the Mystery House. We carefully investigated and determined the source of said mystery. I'll tell you all when you're older... The house was cool as hell, although admittedly bizarre. God, I love Victorians and Tiffany...mmmm. I had a smashing day, but was feeling rather on the ferklempt side driving home. Craig called as I was leaving SF, we talked all the way up to Petaluma, and then we met up in Rosa and drove to the beach. It was exactly what I required. I still feel...well it's irrelevent, actually. But it was really nice to have him so there for me.

So here I am, had a mellow day thus far. I need to make some risotto and some stew to freeze for the week still, and at some point I'm going to start on the third season of Oz that I've been meaning to watch for like three years. Jeepers. I'm actually thinking I might procrastinate it for another day or so and instead watch Sin City. Hmmmm. Anne should be calling at some point, that'll be good. In the meantime I'll preoccupy myself with music and plans for the future. When life starts to suck I make it bearable by planning the future, specifically plans for how to get the fuck out of this area code. Mmmmmhmm. I've been on the verge of this plan for months now, but it's all starting to make more sense. I'll work on the basics and discuss the rest with my handy dandy new life coach on wednesday. Yup, that's right. Jill is not only my former pastor, my mentor, and my friend, I have just agreed to make her my life coach. It isn't that I can't figure myself out on my own, I do that just fine, thank you. Jill is just really adept at providing insight and suggestion to get and keep me on track. She always has. She's like a catalyst for getting where I want to be.

Sadly, doing dishes and cleaning the fridge is not on the "where I want to be" list, but it's on the agenda before risotto, stew, and movies, so off I go. *sigh*

music: Marilyn Manson
mood: still irrelevent

Quotes of the Weekend...

From Craig:

"It isn't so important that we succeed, it's that others must fail."

"It's like these people are from a different planet!!!"

"We don't need any more friends!"

From Keshau:

"I have a fever and the only prescription I need is more cow bell!"

From Me:

"It's amazing what we find ourselves agreeing to" (well, that's not really from me, but it came outta my mouth tonight, so there....)

From Monkey:

"Julie Land? It's just like Disneyland, only meaner!"



There's more, but it's a little late, I took a Xanax (woohooo! This is sooo what I was saving it for!) and I can't really think of them at the moment. I need to start carrying my little mini-recorder thing 'round with me. I think my blogs would be ever so much more...complete. *sigh*

Tigerlily

I'm still not sure who Tigerlily is. I have my theories, but none of them seem to be quite right. I am certain, however, that she needs to blog more. Thank you, that is all.